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Grief and happiness.

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 It's been almost a year since the last time I write in my blog. 2023 was a really hard year for me. Even until now. It's still burdened me. All the feelings, trauma. But I know, that all of those is what made me who am I today.  It's really hard to lost a parent. I lost my dad last year, the year of 2023. I miss him a lot. I cry a lot. I dream a lot. About him.  To be honest, it's really feel like I have no direction about what should I do in my life right after My Dad left me. It's really hard for me until I feel like I'm the most sad person around. It still hit me hard even until now. I really miss him a lot.  I got thoughts like, why not my dad be here to greet his 2nd grandson, why, Oh God. and also all the grit "I should've call him more", "I should've go home more", "I should've pray more", etc... In the middle of my grief, which I was not yet accepting everything that was happened, God gave me a huge blessing. 2 ...
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Life recently, First 3 months of 2023.

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Life is really hard for me, currently. But not that I'm not grateful. God has given me the greatest gift: That I'm expecting! I'm now almost 6 months pregnant with my 2nd child and it's been amazing. My son, Zefa is also growing happily, I've been blessed with good health, also my husband, my mommy, and a lot of my families been blessed. One of my cousin is getting married, I've been able to eat yummy and cook healthy food, it's all blessing for me. I've also been bless on my career, knowing that I almost become 100% PNS, hopefully it will be official this month!  But yes, life is not always perfect.  On the first months of this year I've lost 2 of my dear family members; my grandma and my cousin. It's really hard for me because I do really close to them by heart. They're like my most fav people to talk to after my parents. I miss them deeply. I hope they're peace in heaven now. I wish for them to be happy up there knowing me and other fa...
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M. AULIA PURWAJUNI

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HOW IT HAPPENED TO ME, HIM AND HER how it began :/ let me think mm It began one day on July about one months ago. I knew about a boy. a cute-nice-handsome-adorable:* boy. *hope you do not read this named AULIA :) I let myself know him. Too fast I think, but I fell inlove with him and he also did. I met him for the first time @ balai pemuda He seems so nice:D he looks pretty adorable. And I fell inlove deeply on that time.  Guess what, He simply told me about his feeling on the next day. Then I say yes. and we get along only for 23 days. and that was my fault . remembered about my ex-boyfr and let him in, into my life again. my aulia know that, then he got mad. he decide to separate our relationship  :( On the thay after we broke up, I realize that I didn't need my old man. Aulia's better than the others. Okay then, that was only my past.He's already say NO for keeping me as his girl again. I'M SO DUMB. so stupid. and I fall down almost dead for hear...
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