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A person will be just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln

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Grief and happiness.

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 It's been almost a year since the last time I write in my blog. 2023 was a really hard year for me. Even until now. It's still burdened me. All the feelings, trauma. But I know, that all of those is what made me who am I today.  It's really hard to lost a parent. I lost my dad last year, the year of 2023. I miss him a lot. I cry a lot. I dream a lot. About him.  To be honest, it's really feel like I have no direction about what should I do in my life right after My Dad left me. It's really hard for me until I feel like I'm the most sad person around. It still hit me hard even until now. I really miss him a lot.  I got thoughts like, why not my dad be here to greet his 2nd grandson, why, Oh God. and also all the grit "I should've call him more", "I should've go home more", "I should've pray more", etc... In the middle of my grief, which I was not yet accepting everything that was happened, God gave me a huge blessing. 2 ...
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Dunia Umbi

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 Hi there! sudah lama nggak nulis di blog ya. Selalu sih, dari dulu.. kalau sudah ada kesibukan pasti nggak sempet buka blog. Hidup terus berjalan kak. Tapi kini, aku sedang ingin menulis tentang a new phase, lebih tepatnya a new beginning and a fresh start di hidup aku yang kini sedang aku jalani. Yup, sesuai judul dari tulisan kali ini, aku jadi umbi gaes! hehe. Itu bahasa sekarang - sekarang ini untuk menyebut seorang ASN / CPNS. Oke, langsung saja aku ceritain journey ku ya! Perjalanan ini dimulai di bulan Juli 2021. Ketika saat itu aku masih menjadi guru private seorang anak expat di Surabaya. I enjoy teaching very much. Everyday I feel challenged to teach, to find a way about how to explain/ clarify some information for these kids, so they can grasp the concept.  Oke, malah kemana - mana ya ceritanya, hehe. Pokoknya, kerjaan aku waktu itu tuh lagi ngajar les privat , Ibuku nawarin aku buat coba CPNS tahun itu. Sebenarnya di awal aku sudah males. Karena aku mikirnya kesem...
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Life recently, First 3 months of 2023.

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Life is really hard for me, currently. But not that I'm not grateful. God has given me the greatest gift: That I'm expecting! I'm now almost 6 months pregnant with my 2nd child and it's been amazing. My son, Zefa is also growing happily, I've been blessed with good health, also my husband, my mommy, and a lot of my families been blessed. One of my cousin is getting married, I've been able to eat yummy and cook healthy food, it's all blessing for me. I've also been bless on my career, knowing that I almost become 100% PNS, hopefully it will be official this month!  But yes, life is not always perfect.  On the first months of this year I've lost 2 of my dear family members; my grandma and my cousin. It's really hard for me because I do really close to them by heart. They're like my most fav people to talk to after my parents. I miss them deeply. I hope they're peace in heaven now. I wish for them to be happy up there knowing me and other fa...
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