My life recap during these years.

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Hi all!

I just want to write some stuff that is going on in my life lately. Since I rarely write on this blog, I just want to try to write my up and downs since I had my baby boy which is a huge milestone worth writing and celebrating! I'll tell you briefly how my life changed and how I learned a lot through these years on this one single post. :D 

My Motherhood Journey

I know, It's been almost 4 years since I'm overcoming motherhood. And all I can say to you is, It's so beautiful. It's super beautiful. 

My bundle of joy, Mr. Z, was born in 2018.

Back then, I do not know at all, how to do motherhood. How to become a mother, and let's put this underlined, I'm by myself. All alone, by myself. 

I am trying the best I can to simply, hold all the feelings of angst, be disappointed(because of something I wish to tell in this blog too, I hope I have the courage to write it), I throw away those other unnecessary feelings to just hold on to love. To be grateful for my newborn, to a new responsibility that I never know, would be my daily source of joy.

 2018 has taught me how to be more patient. How to become a better version of me, 22 years old me, with a son. It's just the most amazing feeling, and motherhood is the best blessing I ever received.

2019 and the messiness of it

In, 2019, I got accepted to work in a bank. I had to cover up my son (the bank doesn't accept a married/woman having kids to work in that position) I was struggling to keep working and looking for money to raise my son. I had to cover up my son, and only my beloved close friends who still catch up with me and Mr. Z. In August, I had to let go of my job because I can't stand the pressure that comes from it. 

The pressure that not only from my office but also from other difficult circumtances, make me quit the job. 

But God is so Good. He always provides. He gave me a chance to try a teaching career, letting me join a teaching workshop at Malang, which actually, change the way I see the world and my faith in God. Truthfully, I can grow more in that school, but I got a job offer from my mom's office, and I surely love it. I had to teach a dyslexic student who need my help. Once again, God had made me explore new things. I am so grateful for that experience terribly grateful. 


2020 and the shift that it brought

If I could recap my year into one sentence, 2020 was my year of exploration. In kids, parenting, teaching, those sort of stuff.  

From Jan to July 2020, I was teaching a dyslexic kid, He made me learn more about phonics, early education (particularly because he still cant read) I am no pro, but I'm so thankful that God has made me to learn. From August till Nov 2020, I began to make a preschool pintables, sell it on teacher pay teachers, and made income out of it. I'm so happy that now my PayPal account will be refilled once in a month :)) even it's not much (because it is very affordable and not so many people purchase it hahaha but I still get income from it). 

 The cons and evaluation that I can learned from this year is, I was so often comparing myself, hard to feel enough, just simply need a lot of affirmation and feeling to become a perfect mother. 

2021 and all the greatness for being more accepting

In 2021, God gave me enough opportunity to teach a student, an ex-pat student here in Surabaya. What a blessing God has given to me. I became her regular teacher, daily teacher. From her family, to be honest, I learn a lot of new things. particularly culture. A new and fun thing to explore. 

God also let me discover elementary years lessons, make me learn more teaching ideas, teaching sources. teaching techniques. Everything that God has planned for me is just beautiful. 

On this year, I'm trying to conquer a new challenge, to become a civil servant, CPNS. And guess what? I got accepted!!!!

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