Grief and happiness.
It's been almost a year since the last time I write in my blog. 2023 was a really hard year for me. Even until now. It's still burdened me. All the feelings, trauma. But I know, that all of those is what made me who am I today. It's really hard to lost a parent. I lost my dad last year, the year of 2023. I miss him a lot. I cry a lot. I dream a lot. About him. To be honest, it's really feel like I have no direction about what should I do in my life right after My Dad left me. It's really hard for me until I feel like I'm the most sad person around. It still hit me hard even until now. I really miss him a lot. I got thoughts like, why not my dad be here to greet his 2nd grandson, why, Oh God. and also all the grit "I should've call him more", "I should've go home more", "I should've pray more", etc... In the middle of my grief, which I was not yet accepting everything that was happened, God gave me a huge blessing. 2