Grief and happiness.

-

 It's been almost a year since the last time I write in my blog. 2023 was a really hard year for me. Even until now. It's still burdened me. All the feelings, trauma.

But I know, that all of those is what made me who am I today. 

It's really hard to lost a parent. I lost my dad last year, the year of 2023.

I miss him a lot. I cry a lot. I dream a lot. About him. 

To be honest, it's really feel like I have no direction about what should I do in my life right after My Dad left me. It's really hard for me until I feel like I'm the most sad person around. It still hit me hard even until now. I really miss him a lot. 

I got thoughts like, why not my dad be here to greet his 2nd grandson, why, Oh God. and also all the grit "I should've call him more", "I should've go home more", "I should've pray more", etc...

In the middle of my grief, which I was not yet accepting everything that was happened, God gave me a huge blessing.

2 months after my Dad passed away, I gave birth to my 2nd son, Joshua.

I'm so happy for easy delivery (even though it was caesarean) but knowing I was diagnosed with acreta *another drama in my pregnancy, it was a huge blessing to gave birth Joshua with easy and good condition.

My water was broke on my 30th weeks of pregnancy. Leaving me with 10 more weeks to go, but it was opened. Not only dilated but it was reduced, a lot. My Stomach was shrunk I was told to stay in bed. 

I was told to do bed rest until I give birth. Well it was quiet a time, 10 more weeks to go... 

I was doing a bedrest for 3 weeks, on April 2023 until it was the time I got 33 weeks pregnant and My Obgyn told me that my water was not enough, so I have to do the C-Section procedure immediately.

God was great, Joshua was born premature but he was 100% healthy! God is good. Joshua was only 1,9 kg when he born. Being inside the NICU for 8 days and he was healthy. Thanks Jesus <3 

I think it was my update for today~ I write this post while waiting for the time to go home at 3.15 pm >,<

Thank you for reading my words, well see you later!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dunia Umbi

-
 Hi there! sudah lama nggak nulis di blog ya. Selalu sih, dari dulu.. kalau sudah ada kesibukan pasti nggak sempet buka blog. Hidup terus berjalan kak. Tapi kini, aku sedang ingin menulis tentang a new phase, lebih tepatnya a new beginning and a fresh start di hidup aku yang kini sedang aku jalani. Yup, sesuai judul dari tulisan kali ini, aku jadi umbi gaes! hehe. Itu bahasa sekarang - sekarang ini untuk menyebut seorang ASN / CPNS. Oke, langsung saja aku ceritain journey ku ya! Perjalanan ini dimulai di bulan Juli 2021. Ketika saat itu aku masih menjadi guru private seorang anak expat di Surabaya. I enjoy teaching very much. Everyday I feel challenged to teach, to find a way about how to explain/ clarify some information for these kids, so they can grasp the concept.  Oke, malah kemana - mana ya ceritanya, hehe. Pokoknya, kerjaan aku waktu itu tuh lagi ngajar les privat , Ibuku nawarin aku buat coba CPNS tahun itu. Sebenarnya di awal aku sudah males. Karena aku mikirnya kesempatan mas
more? »

My Engagement Story: The Preparation

-
Image
Hai, apakabar? Postingan kali ini akan lebih membahas mengenai hal yang udah cukup lama aku tidak bahas, apa ituu? hehe tentang kehidupan percintaan dan rumah tangga 😆. Postingan kali ini aku harap akan mencadi juga sebuah cerita yang nantinya bisa di baca oleh anakku, Zefa, dan adiknya. Bermula dari kira - kira akhir tahun 2021, Mas Dimas, yang saat itu menjadi pacarku selama 3 tahunan lebih, mengutarakan maksudnya untuk mengajak aku untuk ngobrol bersama keluarganya. Aku ingat waktu itu kami pergi ke Ocean Garden, salah satu restoran di Malang. Sore itu cukup haru, karena untuk kali pertama aku berani untuk open up tentang cerita mengenai aku yang menjadi ibu tunggal ke keluarga Mas Dimas, the backstory.  Pada saat itu aku dan Mas Dimas ditanyai beberapa pertanyaan, seperti Äpakah kamu sungguh sudah siap untuk lanjut ke jenjang berikutnya? Apakah kamu sudah yakin, ini adalah seseorang yang kamu mau nikahi? Setelah pertemuan itu, kami berlanjut di pertemuan keluarga di rumahku di Sur
more? »

Gavriel Zefanya Primadio

-
A little story about my little kid. I knew I was pregnant in October 2017. It was a wonderful life-changing event for me. There is a lot of things that suddenly come to my mind. Sleepless nights I was still working on Warna Warni at that time It was a privilege to be surrounded by so many kind people I was blessed to be in my environment I remember on my first got pregnant, lagi makan penyetan, dan muntah sejadi - jadinya di penyetan Kayoon. I remember aku ke Sidoarjo makan bakso bareng Mas Isa dan Mas Erick Discussing life with Ce Fenny How I really amazed by them Elbiana nemenin aku to meet doctors Nadya, Meisa, Kuki, Dhani, Irm was my support system! I met Nanda mama Mira main bareng curhat bareng Mb Iin, Mb Sofi, Mb Ira, Mb Dinar, and all WW person that are kind to me, I'm just so happy on that day. Day by day passed I was carrying a lot of good stuff in my belly Jepa engga rewel, tp Bunda suka mual kalau lupa minum VIT Tambah darah. I was travel! Yes It
more? »