Rain in my brain

Common januaries in my calendar are always brings rain. heavier rain than december. and it just happens now, and unfortunately, my house is flooded as well. They said that rain usually can washes everything away. like what my father told me, rain is bringing good stuff, fresh air, breeze wind, more fresh things that its so rare here on my town I living, Surabaya. But my dad was also told me that, rain is not as good as it might seen, its also bring floods, its also bring viruses, those what attacks you, making you sick.

Rain is pretty much like love is, fall in love do have a risk, big or small. It depends in the background of both who have it. I have those risk. Risks that pretty much cross my mind many times in my spare time. But suddenly, almost everytime I doesn't care about it that's love. something that can make us do many mistakes, many harmful and silly actions, many unlogic stuffs. people had to deal with many stuffs, too many stuffs, because of this matter, love. they would kill, they would do anything, to make it work. I worries, I do.
I fall in love with a boy, same boy for 3 years till now. I'm not afraid for where it will lead us, what will we facing, or anything else. For now, all I need is him. He helps me a lot in everything, people might cant see it, or even he doesnt realize how much does he mean to me, but I do.

It's everything. You know what,
for 17 years old fatty little the-only-child like me, all I can say is that this is magical. I have always been dreaming to having a relationship like this hahaha, with a cute pretty boy, plus he is funny, plus he is romantic (used to be:p) hahah I've dreamt it since I was in elementary.
I love having friend. The one who pretty close to me, who accompany me in my hard times, and the fact is, I have no sibling, I have no sister, I have no brother, so, every boyfriend that i had, will always means so much to me. But I can tell you, there is no other better man, than who I have right now. You know like, you feel so comfortable, you feel so sure and you feel really happy to see him around, and suddenly you care nothing.its dangerous and also contagious in one time. Well I cant resist.

I can say, he's one of couple of witnesses to see my growth. He is mine since im in high school, pretty much in my sophomore until now, 2nd years in my Uni.
So what can I do without him? I can't say to being stay with him is an easy deals. It flooded by many serious problems, we have through sooo many stuffs that heartbreaking, so lovely, delightful. Cant figure it out in a sentence. I have many sight of our future. But I cannot define it.
Because there are many factors that still bordered us with no freedom. and those are not easy matters. We are different.

I really agree with John Lennon lyrics, that why are human have differences? its burdened someone like me of course.Especially in my country, its called bhinneka tunggal eka. But we still have borders.
Religion. I can't escape from this matters.This is my life, and without God, I'm nothing. Its a very rough matters.
Relationship, religion,.................I cant take it. all I can do is just praying to keeping me with him. that's my happiness. I wont let him go, it's just too much sacrifices. In the other hand, there is bigger sacrifice that I really need to hold strong.

But for now? I don't care. I love it. I love him. Pretty much like Icona Pop's lyric isnt it? ;D
I'm lucky im still 17. Its awsome to being a teenager. And me, are just going to let it be.
It's my love. :")
whether what future might be, let it be.
and p.s, i love my life. i love everyone inside it, no matter what.