Intention of Change :D

-
It's mighty easy to feel like you don't have time to read — especially quality literature, and make an assignment. Life is hectic, jobs are busy and it's much easier to scroll through a photo feed in instagram, path, and all over the internet than it is to sink your brain into some juicy reading matter . Those are simply my terrifying daily habit that can't be released even until now.

 We tend to living our comfort zone, doing and keeping everything that condemned us to remain in the way, even it's not the only way. keeping us on the wrong track without we even realize there is so many bright and dazzling stuffs we've been left behind, only for holding and preserve this same old habit or stuffs.

 The thing is, I'm not only talking about my bad habit of being procrastinating to not read or make my housework cause my life's is too hectic to sit down and make my assignment, but I also talking about my useless daily routine that need to be thrown away into the rubbish.

 There is plenty of it, not one or too.... but many. 
Many of my irresponsible habit that I'm really feeling guilty, that has already made not only me--to feel annoyed, but also anyone else. I'm a person, that really doesn't care about people talking about me, what they think, what they may arguing about me. But the bad side of it is, I was also doesn't really look upon my phone and social accounts all the time, I barely open my text messages in a day. Only opening my boyfriend's text hahahaha sorry guys.. they found it so hard, looking for me esp at the weekend days. I disappear..  gone.... can't be reached and that's pretty much me, and people are well known about it. I'm so sorry for anyone who read this and ever got threaten by me that way.. You know me lah-- Xo


See? there's still many notifications I haven't read yet :D

 Okay so, I planned something to let go this old habbit. Hopefully I can :") Y know... those are pretty hard to release something that already we kept for so long hahahaha. but I know these are bad habit. including laziness ..  So often I define myself by what I am not rather What I really. am.

 Firstly, I should start with willingness. or intention. A desire to motivate my self. obviously ! 
after it's completed, I need to forgive myself and open to not trapped by the past. realizing that there is so many sparks that I really need to embrace. shifting through my soul, with extra consistency  wish I can work that out. I really want to renew my environment, which is already done. by.... letting go so many big stuffs of mine XO If you wonder, stuffs are not only things, but also people hahahaha :D than..... mediate .. try to always consistent, organized! and prayyyy >,< and wishing the good things would follows up,.
thankyou guys for reading my curhatan... wish you not got trapped after this hahaha and wish you pray for me to success on this superb project... intention of letting go :D
babaiii xoxo 




Popular posts from this blog

Dunia Umbi

-
 Hi there! sudah lama nggak nulis di blog ya. Selalu sih, dari dulu.. kalau sudah ada kesibukan pasti nggak sempet buka blog. Hidup terus berjalan kak. Tapi kini, aku sedang ingin menulis tentang a new phase, lebih tepatnya a new beginning and a fresh start di hidup aku yang kini sedang aku jalani. Yup, sesuai judul dari tulisan kali ini, aku jadi umbi gaes! hehe. Itu bahasa sekarang - sekarang ini untuk menyebut seorang ASN / CPNS. Oke, langsung saja aku ceritain journey ku ya! Perjalanan ini dimulai di bulan Juli 2021. Ketika saat itu aku masih menjadi guru private seorang anak expat di Surabaya. I enjoy teaching very much. Everyday I feel challenged to teach, to find a way about how to explain/ clarify some information for these kids, so they can grasp the concept.  Oke, malah kemana - mana ya ceritanya, hehe. Pokoknya, kerjaan aku waktu itu tuh lagi ngajar les privat , Ibuku nawarin aku buat coba CPNS tahun itu. Sebenarnya di awal aku sudah males. Karena aku mikirnya kesempatan mas
more? »

My Engagement Story: The Preparation

-
Image
Hai, apakabar? Postingan kali ini akan lebih membahas mengenai hal yang udah cukup lama aku tidak bahas, apa ituu? hehe tentang kehidupan percintaan dan rumah tangga 😆. Postingan kali ini aku harap akan mencadi juga sebuah cerita yang nantinya bisa di baca oleh anakku, Zefa, dan adiknya. Bermula dari kira - kira akhir tahun 2021, Mas Dimas, yang saat itu menjadi pacarku selama 3 tahunan lebih, mengutarakan maksudnya untuk mengajak aku untuk ngobrol bersama keluarganya. Aku ingat waktu itu kami pergi ke Ocean Garden, salah satu restoran di Malang. Sore itu cukup haru, karena untuk kali pertama aku berani untuk open up tentang cerita mengenai aku yang menjadi ibu tunggal ke keluarga Mas Dimas, the backstory.  Pada saat itu aku dan Mas Dimas ditanyai beberapa pertanyaan, seperti Äpakah kamu sungguh sudah siap untuk lanjut ke jenjang berikutnya? Apakah kamu sudah yakin, ini adalah seseorang yang kamu mau nikahi? Setelah pertemuan itu, kami berlanjut di pertemuan keluarga di rumahku di Sur
more? »

Grief and happiness.

-
 It's been almost a year since the last time I write in my blog. 2023 was a really hard year for me. Even until now. It's still burdened me. All the feelings, trauma. But I know, that all of those is what made me who am I today.  It's really hard to lost a parent. I lost my dad last year, the year of 2023. I miss him a lot. I cry a lot. I dream a lot. About him.  To be honest, it's really feel like I have no direction about what should I do in my life right after My Dad left me. It's really hard for me until I feel like I'm the most sad person around. It still hit me hard even until now. I really miss him a lot.  I got thoughts like, why not my dad be here to greet his 2nd grandson, why, Oh God. and also all the grit "I should've call him more", "I should've go home more", "I should've pray more", etc... In the middle of my grief, which I was not yet accepting everything that was happened, God gave me a huge blessing. 2
more? »