NOTHING.

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Hey there fellas, its a long time no see , isnt it?
so maybe today I want to share you guys, a little bit of negative thinking inside my mind
being a positive one is not always easy, it's even hard for many people.
I just came up from another looooong journey of my life.
I belive it is.its a huge confusing in my mind right now
you know what, I am 17 years old right now
that means, im probably still can feel those feeling for being like "empty" for a moment
yes I know, even old people still can feel that way
but, It's kinda absurd.
I have sooooooo much burden right now.
what i can say here is,sometimes ... you can even feel so tired for feeling like this
and so tired for thinking of it
just go on..... I am sooo tired right now guys
even I dont show it up. believe me, I can handle it
but, seriously... what I feeling right now is
a torment one
a deeply hurt one
for being like.... ignored
for being like.... burdened
and I even too lazy to share it to another people.
I just, I can't show the people whether I am in this condition
I'm okayyy... but .... goshhhh, this feeling.....
I am. I am in this condition. But I never ever taking problem (as long it's not related to my relationship)seriously...
my academic going not well right now. It's even getting worse.
My economic is unstable
I have a super near deadline that I think I can't afford it
I havent meet my boyfriend for a month :'
The one which is completely burden me is, my academic of  course.
It is because im still not organized. I feel like something horrible is always near me,
Is it a karma?
Is it a karma for being a lazy girl, the one who not really close to God?
for being  a bad person?
I'm sick of it.the story of my life are always the same
I'm kinda feeling like my life is stagnant in this way of life
I feel like, yes I'm blessed and I completely grateful about that.
But WHYYYY?
WHY CANT I GIVING MY BEST SHOT FOR EVERY PEOPLE I LOVE
actually, why am I being this needy? why am I useless. sometimes I feel like I am useless.
hmmm that's all aja lah
I lost of words.
but.... I still can holding on this anyway:) wish my spirit will never be broken.
l\

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